What do you do when the novelty of quitting nicotine has worn off?

It can actually give you a surge of energy to plan to quit, psych yourself up, then take that bold step. “Hey, look at me, I did it?”
But, now come the days or months when the initial boost of committment is waning and you begin to feel a sense of lethargy toward the whole idea of quitting.

First of all, that’s what this blog is all about! It is here to bridge that very gap.
Second, this time is probably the most important of all during the process. Why? Because it’s when the process gets momentum. This is where you get to put your best foot forward and keep the faith even though you may not feel it.

Funny thing, it won’t feel like your best, it will just feel kind of room temperature or even down. Expect to be confused. What can you depend on when you’re confused? Keep reading…

This is when you get to relax and settle in to the routine of being your most natural self without cigarettes.
Those first few days or weeks of telling others you’re quitting, going through a few rituals, maybe buying something new as a help or encouragment, are now behind you.

It is likely you will start to feel some strong pulls back toward your old smoking , nicotine addicted self.
So the big send off is over… now you’re on the train in unfamiliar territory around unfamiliar people. All you want is to get your bearrings and to do that, you are tempted to smoke. That would get you feeling ‘back to normal.’

Let me remind you that your normal self is the one who does not smoke.  This will always be an absolute fact. There are very few absolutes in life. This is one. It is completely abnormal to smoke.

Do not buy in to the idea that you will get back to a safe comfort zone if you could just have one or two cigarettes.
This is your journey back to normal and the feelings you are having are perfect. It will be this way for a while.
If there was not a price, it would be worthless. Stay with it.

NOTE: This series is for the advanced reader. These posts are earmarked for removal but remain here temporarily.

Even when you do not have advance notice on stressors you can know the answer when the smoking question comes up. It goes like this. ”  hey there’ s a store up here on the right and I’ ve got time. I could stop and get a pack of cigarettes and smoke just one or two to remember what it’s like. I know I won’ t like it and so I’ll prove to myself that I don’ t really want it.” That’ s dirty wrestling.
So what’ s your counter attack? Here’s a suggestion. ” Yes, there is a store up here on the right and I’ve got time and one cigarette would be just amazing right now. I can already feel the relaxation going through my body as I take that first couple of drags.
But I have decided that the rest of my life is too important to waste on a few fleeting moments of chemical addiction.
Those smoking moments will be gone so quickly then I will be burdened with having to re-commit making it harder the next time I have this little scuffle with myself. So what I am going to do is drive past this store and grieve the loss of that habit. Yes, grieve it because it hurts to let it go.
I know that this moment is the only moment I have to work with and my choice is to honor it with my freedom from smoking. I know it will get easier as I build strength in these decisions and the only way that strength will accumulate is through making it real over and over.
This moment is the one I choose to make it real. It hurts. I am making this decision anyway because it is definitely worth the hurt. There is a lot at stake here. As I do this I know it will hurt less and less over time. This is the best decision.”

That was an example of wrestling with the present moment.

Alone-ness
You are alone in this. What I write here can be a support to you but in the end, you are looking out into a vast empty stark, cold landscape and you are facing it with a resolve that you will be alone and do it anyway. This is what writers call the winter of your life .
Even if you are doing this process from a beach house in the summer, it is winter deep down in you and it must be. You might ask.”  Why so gloomy? Does this have to be so dark and awful?”  Here’ s the answer. It can be much easier if you go ahead and recognize that this gulf you feel is real and must be worked through. Grief is extraordinarily strong. It can reach down into parts of your psyche you didn’ t know you had. It can pull up feelings that will scare you and leave you wondering if you are crazy. That’ s all a part of this. Remember, most people who try to do this do not make it. This is your chance to actually make it.
The ego is a major trickster and will stop at nothing to trip you up. Just take a breath and keep going. Take another breath. The act of breathing on purpose seems so stupidly simple yet it carries with it a power the wisdom traditions still have not figured out.
Just breathe and be aware of your breath. Think of each breath as a present moment. Each one, you are free from smoking. Each one, you are taking a higher road. The part of you that knows how simple, yet profound this moment is.

Do not look for any bells and whistles. Nothing big will happen. If you are determined to have some big major breakthrough, forget it.
Just go back to simple breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Count four breaths in and four out–equal pace. Nothing dramatic.
Ask yourself why you want some big dramatic breakthrough. A release that will suddenly free you from addiction and numb you to the confused feelings. Some other worldly experience to write home about it?
Let me suggest that’ s the ego wanting to engage you in a give and take. Like a hostage negotiator, it will try to engage you in a back and forth debate. Don’ t fall in the trap.

Just breathe and keep moving forward one simple moment at a time. Nothing glamorous, not even close.
More caution. If you find yourself doing a lot of self soothing, like taking bubble baths and enjoying chocolate as a way to baby yourself, be aware that it could be a ploy by ego to lull you into a sense of entitlement.
Just stay calm, relaxed and level headed. Any extreme could lead to your falling off the path.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes I highly recommend this program.

NOTE: This series is for the advanced reader. These posts are earmarked for removal but remain here temporarily.

A year or two of moments is really nice. A few days are excellent too. But twenty years is the same as twenty minutes. It is the single moment that counts. As you will see, I mean that.

How do you measure a moment? For this project, think of a moment as a second.  The time it takes to snap a photo, blink or clap your hands once. That is the moment you have to deal with. That’s what will accumulate into thousands of moments and make years and become the rest of your life. You only have to quit smoking for a moment. Then another.
Yes, this is a trick. It’ s a good one and it works. So in each moment you can choose to smoke or to be free of smoking. That becomes the wrestling match between you and ego. Every single time you win the match you are empowered tremendously.
So it’ s not about quitting smoking. That’ s a byproduct of this process. The real juice of this whole “wrestling with the moment”  thing is in the moment of choice. When you are exhausted of the fight  you will make a decision for or against smoking. That decision will greatly impact all the future moments.

Real motivation is the process of changing perspectives, the moving of boundaries. Nobody can motivate you until they help you change perspectives.
That change could be in many forms. A friend of mine was walking along the sidewalk when a car came off the road and suddenly onto the sidewalk! My friend was motivated to get out of the way. That was a real change of boundaries.
A positive motivator influences you to take limits off yourself and change your own boundaries. You can stop smoking. When you change your own self-made boundaries you can be free of smoking.
When you decide that nothing is as important as quitting smoking, it will happen. Sounds kind of extreme but if you will hold on to that idea it will help.
Without a statement that strong your boundaries might be too flexible.
Decide.
In the present moment I will always say an absolute  no to the idea or act of smoking. Make your mind up. Then, when you start to tease yourself with the un-quality choice of  just one or well, “I’ ll quit tomorrow” , you will know you have started to wrestle.
It often feels good to get a good argument going in your mind. The ego loves it because it’s the ego’ s best chance to survive. That’s really all it wants–to survive. So it knows that to establish an argument is like cracking the door open. It’s like rattling a leash for the dog. Here it comes, bounding around the corners so fast it slides on the hardwood floors.

That trusty ego just panting and wagging its tail in delight. Ego will use any foothold it can get to start something, anything to get an argument going. After you have played this game awhile you will recognize ego quickly.
It likes constant music, video games, surfing the net, problems, emotion, yelling at a football play on TV, crying, being a victim, driving fast, over eating, over drinking, and, of course, smoking and even making a case for smoking.

 Sincerely Feeling vulnerable in the present moment. This is part of what wrestling is about. It is emotionally painful to know you are doing your best and still feel empty and alone. You really want to do something that helps pick your spirits up. In the old days you would smoke. That is not healthy.
So, today you are going to do something healthy as a pick-me-up. Why are you going to do anything at all? Because you really feel empty and this wrestling is becoming serious and not fun anymore and is getting troublesome. That’ s good! That’s ego again. Yep.
Remember it will do anything to get its way. It is the most spoiled brat you can imagine. It is also the most cunning, clever, cute, lovey dovey, story telling, charming manipulator on earth. It will try and try and try.

In the middle of the night, on the way to work, when you least expect it and even when you are on guard. That’s what must happen. To get good at wrestling you have to be on guard. Not nervous, just prepared.
Mentally go through your day before it happens. You know which of your coworkers will be smoking on break. You know how to avoid that situation all together. But will you? Ah! That’ s wrestling the present moment. You know what stress situations you will be in. Traffic, meetings, kids, school, relationships. You know the triggers. Coffee, telephone, driving, after a meal, almost all predictable..Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes  ( See part 3 of this series )