Exactly How to Stop Smoking Nicotine Part 3

NOTE: This series is for the advanced reader. These posts are earmarked for removal but remain here temporarily.

Even when you do not have advance notice on stressors you can know the answer when the smoking question comes up. It goes like this. ”  hey there’ s a store up here on the right and I’ ve got time. I could stop and get a pack of cigarettes and smoke just one or two to remember what it’s like. I know I won’ t like it and so I’ll prove to myself that I don’ t really want it.” That’ s dirty wrestling.
So what’ s your counter attack? Here’s a suggestion. ” Yes, there is a store up here on the right and I’ve got time and one cigarette would be just amazing right now. I can already feel the relaxation going through my body as I take that first couple of drags.
But I have decided that the rest of my life is too important to waste on a few fleeting moments of chemical addiction.
Those smoking moments will be gone so quickly then I will be burdened with having to re-commit making it harder the next time I have this little scuffle with myself. So what I am going to do is drive past this store and grieve the loss of that habit. Yes, grieve it because it hurts to let it go.
I know that this moment is the only moment I have to work with and my choice is to honor it with my freedom from smoking. I know it will get easier as I build strength in these decisions and the only way that strength will accumulate is through making it real over and over.
This moment is the one I choose to make it real. It hurts. I am making this decision anyway because it is definitely worth the hurt. There is a lot at stake here. As I do this I know it will hurt less and less over time. This is the best decision.”

That was an example of wrestling with the present moment.

Alone-ness
You are alone in this. What I write here can be a support to you but in the end, you are looking out into a vast empty stark, cold landscape and you are facing it with a resolve that you will be alone and do it anyway. This is what writers call the winter of your life .
Even if you are doing this process from a beach house in the summer, it is winter deep down in you and it must be. You might ask.”  Why so gloomy? Does this have to be so dark and awful?”  Here’ s the answer. It can be much easier if you go ahead and recognize that this gulf you feel is real and must be worked through. Grief is extraordinarily strong. It can reach down into parts of your psyche you didn’ t know you had. It can pull up feelings that will scare you and leave you wondering if you are crazy. That’ s all a part of this. Remember, most people who try to do this do not make it. This is your chance to actually make it.
The ego is a major trickster and will stop at nothing to trip you up. Just take a breath and keep going. Take another breath. The act of breathing on purpose seems so stupidly simple yet it carries with it a power the wisdom traditions still have not figured out.
Just breathe and be aware of your breath. Think of each breath as a present moment. Each one, you are free from smoking. Each one, you are taking a higher road. The part of you that knows how simple, yet profound this moment is.

Do not look for any bells and whistles. Nothing big will happen. If you are determined to have some big major breakthrough, forget it.
Just go back to simple breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Count four breaths in and four out–equal pace. Nothing dramatic.
Ask yourself why you want some big dramatic breakthrough. A release that will suddenly free you from addiction and numb you to the confused feelings. Some other worldly experience to write home about it?
Let me suggest that’ s the ego wanting to engage you in a give and take. Like a hostage negotiator, it will try to engage you in a back and forth debate. Don’ t fall in the trap.

Just breathe and keep moving forward one simple moment at a time. Nothing glamorous, not even close.
More caution. If you find yourself doing a lot of self soothing, like taking bubble baths and enjoying chocolate as a way to baby yourself, be aware that it could be a ploy by ego to lull you into a sense of entitlement.
Just stay calm, relaxed and level headed. Any extreme could lead to your falling off the path.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes I highly recommend this program.

Tagged with: quitting nicotine • stop smoking nicotine

Filed under: How To Stop Nicotine

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