Don’t try to pretend it doesn’t hurt to stop smoking nicotine or that you don’t want to smoke. It does  hurt and you do want to smoke.

That’s what we have to deal with. Get clear on this.

It does hurt and you do want a cigarette. But that is not the problem anymore.

You have decided not to smoke. Period. So you now have a new problem to manage.

The pain and the attraction toward smoking. That’ s what you have to deal with and there are some excellent ways to do it. Think of it like this. You are about to fall from a high roof and you wince at the thought of possibly breaking a leg. A broken leg hurts. But once it’ s broken, whether or not it will break is of no concern. It’ s broken.

Now you have to manage the fact that it is broken. The pain, the care and how you are going to get around, become the things to manage.

Same with smoking. Once you have decided to quit on a specific day, that’ s it. The decision is made. You are now going to deal with the new challenges that come with that decision. Anxiety, pain, emotions, cravings , the whole list that appears. You must become aware of these challenges and deal with them all, and remember you are not allowed to deal with them by smoking. That must be absolutely settled and I mean absolutely. That door is welded shut and bricked over.

Decades ago the Japanese beetle was a threat to American trees and crops. There was a flurry of high level agricultural meetings on how to stop this threat. Finally, the decision was made. There’s no way to stop the influx of beetles. So, the new, more realistic problem became how to cope with it successfully. That’ s what you are doing. You are now coping with the aftermath of being smoke free. This is something you will do for the rest of your life and it becomes second nature. Actually it becomes first nature—to play with words here. It is reflexive or, first nature, NOT to smoke and second or third nature to smoke.

When a quit smoking facilitator told me to suck on hard candy to calm the urge to smoke I wanted to slap her across the room. What an idiot to think that a piece of candy could do that. It cannot. But it can make a slight dent in the oral fixation . I eventually realized it does help some. Every slight blip on the radar helps, so use them all. The goal is to stop smoking. Not to be a little angel in every aspect of your life.

You are actually saving a life here! Don’t lose sight of that in a moment of slight discomfort or even great discomfort. You are saving your own life! Look into local massage services to help relieve tensions.

• Meditate,
• use a straw or gum,
• take two to ten walks a day,
• drink water,
• have coffee,
• go to a movie.

Do any of these things that are not triggers to smoke. Recognize that you are out of your comfort zone and give yourself a break.

It hurts to stop smoking nicotine.

Something is trying to tell you there’ s an imbalance so, ultimately that’s a great thing. Something is not in its usual balance. It’s why spoiled food smells awful as a warning not to eat it.

In this case, feeling off kilter means your systems are working just fine. Keep moving ahead. Recognize that you do want to smoke. But, you have made the quality decision to be free and that will take paying this price. Very small in comparison. You are saving a life with this bit of confusion. One more bit of mind trickery: What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and this was all for nothing? That won’ t happen but if it did you would have lived your last day with a higher quality of life. Congratulations. You can stop smoking nicotine.

Here is more information about quitting smoking from Healthline.com

What is hypnosis and can it really help with smoking cessation or a drug habit  like nicotine?
The act of focusing your attention on an activity ( smoking or not) is simple hypnosis.

The mind is in a flow state and you are influenced by the incoming stimuli.
I have heard hypnosis compared to being in the groove, a steady flow .
Yes, the process works. You already do it daily when drifting off to sleep, waking up, in some flow states of working , listening to music and eating.

To do those things with a directed purpose is hypnosis.
Our culture supports smoking in a hypnotic way. It is an everyday thing. We walk past people who are on a smoke break. We see cigarettes for sale in stores, we are used to the sights and smells of smoking. The everyday moments accumulate into a hypnotic drone of normalcy.
But it is dysfunctional to abuse yourself by administering a poison to your system day in and day out. There are parts of our culture that are so messed up that even this post is mocked and even considered ‘church lady’ .

The only way you could force yourself to do something so self abusive would be through a hypnotic influence.
The daily seepage of information into your conscious and subconscious is certainly not clinical hypnosis but the process is similar— expand or contract a persons boundaries until they change either for better or worse.

Use self hypnosis to influence your behavior in a positive way.
There is plenty of good information on self hypnosis in bookstores and on the web. You could benefit from it to stop smoking nicotine and to come to terms with other areas of your life.

I don’t expect a simple admonition to frustrate you into quitting. It helps to underline the rationale—
Wake up from the smoking trance. This culture has tricked you into hurting yourself. Snap out of it.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

What do you do when the novelty of quitting nicotine has worn off?

It can actually give you a surge of energy to plan to quit, psych yourself up, then take that bold step. “Hey, look at me, I did it?”
But, now come the days or months when the initial boost of committment is waning and you begin to feel a sense of lethargy toward the whole idea of quitting.

First of all, that’s what this blog is all about! It is here to bridge that very gap.
Second, this time is probably the most important of all during the process. Why? Because it’s when the process gets momentum. This is where you get to put your best foot forward and keep the faith even though you may not feel it.

Funny thing, it won’t feel like your best, it will just feel kind of room temperature or even down. Expect to be confused. What can you depend on when you’re confused? Keep reading…

This is when you get to relax and settle in to the routine of being your most natural self without cigarettes.
Those first few days or weeks of telling others you’re quitting, going through a few rituals, maybe buying something new as a help or encouragment, are now behind you.

It is likely you will start to feel some strong pulls back toward your old smoking , nicotine addicted self.
So the big send off is over… now you’re on the train in unfamiliar territory around unfamiliar people. All you want is to get your bearrings and to do that, you are tempted to smoke. That would get you feeling ‘back to normal.’

Let me remind you that your normal self is the one who does not smoke.  This will always be an absolute fact. There are very few absolutes in life. This is one. It is completely abnormal to smoke.

Do not buy in to the idea that you will get back to a safe comfort zone if you could just have one or two cigarettes.
This is your journey back to normal and the feelings you are having are perfect. It will be this way for a while.
If there was not a price, it would be worthless. Stay with it.

NOTE: This series is for the advanced reader. These posts are earmarked for removal but remain here temporarily.

Wrestling with the present moment is all you ever have to do to quit smoking. Of course you have to win the wrestling match.
Here’s one way to win.
Right now, get a feel for this present moment. Breathe in and be aware of the moment. That’ s all. It’ s no big deal, just breathe in and out and be aware that this is a present moment. That is what it all comes down to. It is so simple but that does not mean easy.
Think of “You”  and ” your ego”  as two separate things. Your ego wants to smoke. ” You” do not. Your ego will do anything to get back to smoking. Anything. “You”  are aware of all this. The wrestling goes on between ” You”  and “your ego” . ” You”  have never been a smoker. Ego is always up for anything to keep it busy, occupied, tapping, humming, or…smoking.
Here are some examples so you can get a feel for the difference between ” You”  and “ego”. Note: I am not using the clinical definition of ego, this is a generalization.

When you always have to have music in the car, that’s probably ego.
When you’re calmly looking out over the ocean, that’s ” You”. When “You”  are aware and observant that “ego”  likes music in the car, that can be a good balance.
When you eat even if you’re not hungry- “ego”.
When you are drifting off to sleep, ” You”.

The ego can get so out of control that it will make ridiculous choices. Stupid is not a strong enough word. Imbecile. Idiot. Arrogant and downright dumb. Have you seen the  drug rehab TV show ‘Intervention’?  The show is usually dealing with an aspect of a personality that is ego driven.
Let’s define something before we get too far into this ’”ego” jungle.

Ego is needed in all walks of life. It is a very important part of the personality that helps you navigate the world. Ego is just fine and is not to be treated as bad. But that doesn’t let it off the hook.
The controlling self or, Ego is still the part of you that wants to smoke. It will go to extraordinary lengths to get what it wants. And it will become an imposter using the voice of ” You”.  But make no mistake, it is not “You”. It must be tamed and used in a positive way.

Have you ever heard of one of those pathetic news stories where animal control officials have to go to a house and deal with about 90 cats? There are cats on all the furniture, bathrooms, walking over bookcases, on the kitchen counters and just all over the house. That’ s exactly what happens when the ego gets out of control. The cats need what nobody is providing: limits and boundaries.

Here’s a quick tip. The ego will tell you that it will be fine to smoke just one or two a day. “You can get this thing under control and keep it manageable”,  it whispers, using ”Your”  voice.
That’ s crap. It won’t work. You have to learn to recognize that kind of manipulative ego trick. To quit smoking it must be 100%. Ego will try for every kind of variation on 100% until it learns there are absolutely none.
So, how do ” You” effectively wrestle with ” ego ”?  This blog is dedicated to all the smart, creative things you can do to make the process much easier. It works. I have actually done it. I have used my awareness every single day for over 20 years and have not smoked or, as some others like to say, I have been free of smoking.
I have coached many others in these exercises but I will not use the testimony of others because this process is very personal. One can praise the program today and go back to smoking the next. It is up to each person every day. There will never be a day when you have made it.  Completing this is done each moment, literally. Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes You can only accumulate moments and be thankful for each one. (continued , Exactly How to Stop Smoking Nicotine Part 2)

There I was thinking the Internet spammers were ruining things when I Googled the words: quit smoking. This search reveals a whole new symphony of chaos. I feel emapthy for so many people trying so many things to stop smoking.

My God what a clamoring bunch of pathetic cries in the dark!  But I don’t blame them. It is confusing.

There are more quit smoking programs than you can shake a stick at and most of them are mediocre. I saw one or two that looked OK, and a few blogs of folks in the process of quitting, bless them all, I hope they make it.

The general feeling out there is that a magic pill, gum or patch will do the work for you. Isn’ t that what people want? Magic.

Granted, if used properly some of these aids can help. But first you’ve got to get something straight. You are quitting. Now is the time, nicotine gum or no gum, patch or no patch. When you’ve set your quit date, no amount of last minute foxhole digging will make it magic. You must face yourself. You must go through it and breathe and release and keep going no matter what comes up.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

Shortly after I quit, my Dad died. No magic there. Just a lot of stress and soul searching. And I went through it with no gum or patch or special equipment. I am not fishing for pity here. I am being authentic and saying, “I have been there.”

I find so many programs based on the  ‘spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down’- method. They try to dress up some product so that the external thing, the product , becomes the reason quitting works or does not work. People love that. Many people actually need that and if it helps, go for it. But do not let it replace the depth of your self that is the true decision maker.

“I tried the XYZ method and IT didn’t work.”  Same with all the packaged diets around. The Hollywood Diet, South Beach, Nutra Whatever. Having a packaged name and a box set of supplies does not take the place of facing the moment and going through it. But it does give you an out if things don’t go the way you had hoped. I am not against these products.  My biggest crutch during the quitting process was coffee. It was a real help to me. It is a trigger for others so be careful. (I have since quit coffee and have not had a drop in seven years. ) I just hope you will use them as an aid, not as the answer. Used as a tool, they can be a very real help.

But the bottom line is all about you. I hope this site supports you in an authentic way and gives you the pat on the back you need to keep going. I am in your corner.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

You can find other resources here

Stop thinking that when you stop nicotine, stop smoking, your life will be great. Life is often difficult. Smoking makes it worse.

When you are able to get smoke free, things in your life will be much better. But don’ t delude yourself into thinking there’s a fantasy place over the smoking rainbow.

Yes, smoking is hard. It is abrasive and mean. Smoking is acidic and dangerous. It is junk. You know that. You enjoy the relief smoking gives you but you probably don’t like being addicted to it.

You would like to end the addiction. You can, and this site is here to help you. The process of stopping smoking is not easy. Very few disciplines are easy. There is a popular quit smoking program with the word easy in its name. That’s decent marketing. It’s always good to use words that guide the audience into a happy mind-set, I don’ t fault them for that.

But really, what is easy? Learning to tie your shoes is not easy, learning guitar is not easy, learning to type is not easy, and becoming smoke free is not easy–until you’ ve done it to a point of near mastery.

It will become easier as time goes on. You will have good days when you think you’ ve got it licked, then,  have a terrible day when you want to climb the walls. Little of that is about smoking. You’ ll think it is but it’s not.

Smoking is just the assignment you’ve given to your inner cogs. It’ s the outward expression of your lack of balance on the inside. When you stop smoking you will assign your junk to something else, hopefully much safer, until you work your own inner twists out.

Guess what. Things can get worse. You might not ever stop smoking. If you are over 25 years old your chance of making any lasting change in any area of your life is about one percent.

That fact should wake you up with a jolt– but it probably will not.

Thoreau said ” Most people lead lives of quiet desperation.”

They never attend a Jack Canfield or a Tony Robbins seminar, never read a message like this and get the help they need. They end up acting out their inner cogs until they die. My hope is that you are the exception. To help you make it through all that crap and become the best you can be.

If you must act out a dysfunctional inner cog let’ s work to make it something safer than smoking. Then, if you ever get things together, at least you will have a life to live. But the fantasy life that some advertisers dangle in front of you isn’ t likely. It’s not real. Look around the room you’ re in. That’ s real. That’ s what you have to work with.

That’ s a relief. Relax. If you expect to step into a watercolor version of life once you’ve quit smoking, now is the time to come back to reality.

You can make amazing changes. Stop Niocotine. Living smoke free is one of them, but keep your finger on the pulse of the moment. It’s where you live. And after all, it’s a good place to be. Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

No matter what the date or time, it’s a good day to stop nicotine. The seasons roll on in this part of the world and each second ticks by one after another. That ‘s exactly how you maintain a smoke free life.

Each second becomes a minute and then a day, week, month year, and a decade. If you feel that you’re not doing so well…

1-Go ahead and feel it. Let that feeling have free reign for a few minutes. Don’ t even try to relax it away-hold the tension where it wants to clench in your body.

2-Become aware of the constricted muscles in your face or neck, shoulders or back and keep the tension there. As you become aware of it and center yourself on those things you will start to let go of them.

3-Now breathe deeply while you are still feeling tense. It’ s good to know how to have an awareness that is bigger than the tensions you carry.

4-Now, the clench will start to loosen and you can allow it to go.

5-Breathe and relax. One of the big problems with being upset is that people admonish themselves not to be. Do not deny that you are upset. Feel it. Be aware of it. See it for what it is– Upset. It is not you. You are the awareness that is watching the experience of being upset.

Then you can grieve the moment and get on down the road.

This is the program I used to quit 20 years ago. It works. The Man who designed it is a beyond expert ( if such a thing exists). Dr. Robert Shipley is  at Duke University and his program has bee helping people stop for decades.

This program is  not about hype or big promises. It simply works if you apply it.

Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes
 

All former smokers have an opinion about how to quit. That s great, but- It is important to remember that each person is different. Each person is genuinely motivated by a different set of parameters. Your personal experience is not the standard for all mankind. Your experience is certainly valid, especially if it has served you well. But you have to be careful how you instruct based on your experience.

Whether you quit smoking by choke and gag aversion therapy, or through hypnosis, if it worked for you, that’ s good. But it might not be the right combination for other people.

When you back way up and look at some general principles of becoming smoke free, some patterns emerge. You will see these patterns are valid and here to stay. All habits are lodged in four areas of your life:

> Personal 

>  Cultural

> Physical  

>Systems

Whatever method you choose to quit smoking, you should include these four areas and stay with them to the end. I have been in meetings with folks who wanted to quit smoking. It never surprises me that the people who customize the program to meet their own needs, drop out first. They try to do it without support, or without a quit date, or without some other element that is very important. They don’t realize that they really need to stay with a broader overview that is bigger than they are.

Smoking has gotten bigger than they are and they need help that is sized to match. Some people get arrogant and think they can do it their way. There is a place for independent, free fthinking. Invention and innovation rely on it, however, I suggest being conservative when it comes to getting smoke free.

Stay with foundational elements; like the above four areas. You might not like it but that s OK.  The goal is not for you to like it. I know that sounds a bit like a drill sergant but take a real look at the overview.  Being smoke  free and quitting nicotine is the goal.
Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

What are the effects of Nicotine? You feel the vacancy of being without smoking and you just want things to get back to normal. The quickest way is to smoke and put this quitting thing off until another day. Don’ t buy that load of crap. It’s good to re-think the meaning of normal. Smoking is anything but normal. It is an absolute horror. Experts estimate that one third of all cancers are caused by tobacco products. If a public menace like that was a ‘bad guy’ or a sect of people there would be rioting in the streets about it!
Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

As long as you are smoking you are nowhere near the balanced, healthy person you can be. Celebrities Johnny Carson, Yule Brenner and Walt Disney all smoked and tried to quit. They wanted to quit so they could be back to normal to the ‘healthy self’ they knew they had once been. All three of them died from smoking related illnesses and none of them wanted to die that way.

We know enough today to stop this awful plague on our friends, loved ones and relatives. It starts with you. Be decisive. Do not allow yourself to be on the fence about this. You must be immoveable in your resolve to keep moving forward. The price you are paying now is more than worth it. You are regaining your physical health– the positive effects of quitting nicotine start within hours. You are regaining control of your life. You are giving a gift to others, a gift of yourself, your example and your commitment. You are sharing your insight as only you can. You are unique, not a statistic. You are a valuable vessel of creativity. Respect it. You are intelligent. Use your smarts to understand this thing and relax into freedom. You are loyal to family, friends and associates. Prove it. You are full of life! Expand it! You are the boss of your life. Enjoty the effects of living free of nicotine. Do not allow an insidious drug and habit to trample you. You are a good person. Let this new way of living be an external expression of the overwhelmingly positive life force in you. That is normal.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

It Might Be A Year Until You Quit.  That could be a fact. In the meantime you can do some things to get ready. The main thing to remember is awareness. If you are still smoking, always be conscious of when and how you smoke. Use extra filters, and change brands so you won’ t settle in and make it a rooted part of your life. Use only one ashtray and force yourself to take it from room to room. Avoid smoking after meals or when you are anxious. Make yourself wait. Smoking is a major cause of house fires. That fact does little to deter smoking because the habit is so pervasive that unless you launch an all out attack on it you will always have trouble stopping.

This is not a doomsday notice, just the facts.
Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

If you are still smoking you need to do every little thing you can to uproot the routines and rituals that keep it in place. So, if you have not stopped smoking yet, there are plenty of things you can do to prepare for when you do quit. Most habits are strong because they meet four criteria: Personal, Physical, Social, and Systems. You need to uproot each of those to break a habit. 

Personal. Your own inner take on stopping smoking. 

Physical- brain chemistry and body functions. Stopping nicotine addiction. 

Social- others do it. 

Systems- The regular use, like clockwork. Break all four and you can get free of smoking. Start by doing little things that will break those four areas up. Here’ s how it looks to act on these:

Personal: affirmations of being smoke free.

Physical: cut down- use quit aids; chew gums, exercise, sleep

Social- Hang out with the non-smokers. Become aware of your circle of friends and relatives and their degree influence on you.

Systems. Note how your personal smoking system works. Journal it. That will build awareness. Get as much control of your system as possible by delegating only one ashtray and getting rid of the typical accessories of smoking. Always pick up your butts from the ground or sidewalk. Favorite lighter? Get rid of it. Think of five other things you can do. Write them down and do them.

You are better than smoking. It might take time but work on it as a real expression of your worth. Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

How should I quit smoking?

Decide on a quit date. Make it absolute. If you decide to quit on a Saturday you can have your last cigarette on Friday night up until midnight, then that’ s it. When you wake up Saturday morning you will not have a cigarette. 

How should I prepare for quit day?  Reduce your tar and nicotine two weeks in advance. Either taper off by smoking less or get a brand with the lowest tar and nicotine. This means you will say goodbye to your favorite brand two weeks before your quit date. 

Should I use a group program and go to meetings ?

Yes, these facilitated programs can be good but do not expect that experience to graduate you as a non smoker. You are 100% in charge of that. You will be the reason you quit. The meetings, the coach and support systems can be a great help and you should use them all, but it is still up to you to make it. Never come away from a program and say,” it didn’ t work.”  You must work it. 

Should I use nicotine gum, a patch and other help aids? 

The goal is to get off them as well. Keep the goal in mind. The sooner you are able to get off all that, the better. If you feel you must use those things in the short term, do. 

What if I cave in and smoke?

Get right back in the process and pick up exactly where you left off. You should not scrap the whole goal just because of a little mess up. Watch any sports game. They get to the goal only after struggle. Think how utterly ridiculous it would be if they gave up and walked away after the first foul or turnover. Stay with it. 

Can I do it alone? 

Yes! You can quit smoking alone. Studies show that a support group helps. Even one support person can help. That’ s one of the reasons for this web site. Come here every day and you will find support in articles, blogs, and a solid foundation of commitment to your cause. I absolutely, 100%, know you can quit.
Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

How long will it take for me to know I am done with smoking? 

Good question. It has been over 20 years for me but I never assume it’ s all a done deal. I stay alert and am grateful every day, to be smoke free. Don’t get boastful and preachy to others about your accomplishments. Just be thankful for another hour or half day or week of being smoke free. That’ s the best way to measure it.

What about weight gain? About a third do, a third don’ t and a third actually lose weight. Your body will go through a lot of changes as you become healthier. Watch the signs and take note. Weight gain has to do with many factors. You can be easy on yourself in that area for a few weeks. Above all, don’t ever use smoking as a diet pill. There are much better ways to maintain a balanced weight. 

I can’t drink without a cigarette. If I’ m on the phone or having coffee, I have to have a cigarette.

Those are triggers and you must manage them. Be aware. Again, give yourself a break for a few weeks until you get your triggers under control. Drink less, use substitutes while on the phone and have coffee using the other hand, or don’ t have coffee. Breathe through these experiences and come to awareness. Make your choices. You are the chooser.

What if I feel sleepy?

You might. Breathe, take a walk. What would you do if you felt sleepy on a long drive? You can think of something besides smoking. Don’ t listen to your own whining. Sometimes it’s best to go to bed. Plan your days to anticipate the many ups and downs that have become triggers. Get very serious about this commitment and don’ t let your own whining undermine your efforts. It is a good idea to eat good vegetables and stay away from rich sugary food, especially now. 
Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

Can’t I have one? What would it hurt? 

If you have one, the next one will be two, and the next one will be three and so on. One can become 20. Stop that by not having one. You actually had that one right before quit day. It is best not to have one. These games the mind plays are all designed to get back to your smoking homeostasis. Come to the realization that your pattern of feeling normal is the problem! You must break that and it will require feeling somewhat out of sorts. This is a very good thing. It will become the new normal and you will settle in to a comfortable familiar feeling of being yourself again.

Do the cravings for nicotine and smoking ever stop?

Yes. They diminish quite a bit in the first three days. Two weeks in, they are not strong. But the social triggers are still there so the physical cravings can morph into social taps on the shoulder from out of nowhere. Use your coping methods to stay in balance. You can do it. Stay alert and aware for months, then years. It becomes a part of daily life to steer clear of smoking.

How Can I take out my Frustrations? 

Exercise. This is a great time to work up a sweat and get rid of some of the toxins in your body quicker. The more you sweat, the better. It will relieve stress. A quick game of basketball or a brisk walk, run or swim.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes