Many of the decisions you make today will have a connection to the way your relatives have always done things. You learned millions of nuances of living from

  • your parents,
  • their parents,
  • uncles,
  • aunts,
  • cousins
  • and of course, brothers and sisters.

It’ s just a fact that you are not as independent as you might think.

You could not even talk without the influence of your culture, and that includes influences from your family. You could not think of a simple action unless you were embedded in a culture that defined those options.

So, admit that you have been incredibly influenced by others. You might hate those people or not want to have any identity with them, but you do.

Here’s the good news. Becoming aware of this connection to friends and relatives frees you from their controlling influence. You have a choice.

The way out is awareness .

I used to hear teachers say things like that and I would get frustrated. ” You mean to tell me that simple awareness is the key to all this mess?!” It seemed impossible. It struck me as infantile and irresponsible to believe that. Please get this. Awareness is indeed the key, but your actions on that awareness are just as important.

You absolutely must take action on the insight that awareness gives you. Simple awareness is not going to make magic happen and cause some instant rescue fantasy to come true. You must go through the part of acting on the higher calling your awareness reveals. I am giving it to you straight. You can give this page the finger, and wish for something external to save you but it doesn’t work. I wanted that too. I wanted someone to blame, some bad guy, a villain so I could be the victim.

Look–If you were in a  prison camp and the enemy did the kind of heinous damage to you that smoking does, you would want to obliterate those bad guys for it. You see where I am going with this? You are the bad guy making yourself smoke. You were taught the behavior by your culture. There is no way around that realization. You are also the good guy with the power to fix this but it takes doing things differently, slogging through the ” actions”. That’s a major reason I am writing this. To help you during these plain, simple, sometimes depressing moments. I know these moments well.

The sooner you stop smoking and get free of nicotine the better it will get. Many of your habits, including smoking, are indirectly supported by your family connections either positively or negatively. This fact is not a license for you to blame them. It is an opportunity to be independent and aware in that one little area.

You might be extremely independent in many other areas of your life. But some areas, like the constrictions that drive your smoking, could have slipped through the cracks and are a blip on the radar that needs attention. Admit it. If it’s true, it does not mean you are a lost cause at all.

Everybody has these whacked out, weird wirings that simply need to be examined, released and come to terms with. Every person alive today has them! You are better for being aware of them. Only then, can you start to shake that monkey off your back.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes

Anniversaries have a strong pull on your memory.
Even if you are braced for it, an anniversary can sneak up on you and start to demand attention in a subtle way.
It could be a wedding, a quit day, a graduation, a birthday, holiday or even something as simple as voting (election) day.

Rituals play an important role in your life. Be aware that anniversaries can be a major time of temptation and relapse. So, relax but be vigilant. That’ s a good practice. Staying relaxed while being vigilant.

That’ s how the most highly trained specialists do it, from military special forces to yogis. That is  the trick. Relaxed and alert, simultaneously. This will work for you as well.

No need to dread an anniversary. The older you get the more there are. Just be aware that they can be powerful triggers of unresolved emotions.

That can cause you to fall into bad reactions and want relief the old way, with a smoke.

Breathe through it and take a walk. Rely on your coping skills to ease through anxious times.

You can always take a walk.

I once had a layover in St Louis and walked around the airport, then went outside on the sidewalk in an empty place and did pushups.

There is always a way.

One late night I found a tennis court and walked around it for 45 minutes. That’s about two miles.

Plan in advance for anniversaries. Be mindful of the potential they have for bringing up familiar feelings.
Check the calendar for upcoming dates and be prepared as you stop smoking nicotine.
Relax, and keep moving forward.Quitsmart — Everything You Need to Break Free from Cigarettes